


What My Blood Calls

by Cassandra_of_Troy



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Developing Relationship, Episode: s01e11 Blood Calls to Blood, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Light Angst, M/M, One Shot, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-05 03:44:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20482313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cassandra_of_Troy/pseuds/Cassandra_of_Troy
Summary: You stayed inside my soul like a storm that never calms down,Your name is a scream stuck in my throat...I'm slowly dying for dreaming about you!I wish your mouth without being able to kiss you,I wish your skin without being able to touch youAnd I burn in desire, lying on my bed.I follow your marks like your shadow,Stuck in this love that I want day and nightCounting the seconds for you to be mine...





	What My Blood Calls

— Tired of bickering over the guest list for your wedding? — Magnus asked, ironic.

— I need to ask you something — Alec replied, still unsure if he should be there, if he should run to Magnus, whenever something got out of his control.

— Will it take long? — the warlock asked, painfully disinterested. — I have a life to live and there's not much for us to talk about.

— It's not about me — Alec said, trying to push that subject off the table. — Or any of  _ that _ . This is about my sister.

— Oh, I see... — Magnus said, with understanding in his voice, finishing to put himself a drink. — Are you referring to the fact that your  _ adorable  _ fiancée has Isabelle on trial for treason? — his voice had the mask Alec had always expected to see in the warlock, but never did it. With a long sigh, sitting in a slow motion, Magnus looked back at him. — What can I do for you,  _ Alec _ ?

The shadowhunter didn’t allow himself to pay attention to the other's lack of affection in saying his name.

— My sister wants you to be her defense attorney. I said I would ask. But I'm sorry for bother you. I know a Downworlder can't defend a shadowhunter in court — Alec said, preparing to leave.

He knew. But he went to Magnus anyway, because things between them had ended badly. Alec couldn't shake the pain he saw in the warlock's eyes when he told him about his marriage… He would never admit it, but all he wanted was to see how Magnus was doing. He wanted to  _ see _ Magnus. But he wasn't prepared to be treated coldly like his own decisions to get married had treated Magnus' heart.

— But a shadowhunter accused of a crime can choose any advocate — Magnus said, stopping him from leaving, even though Alec had already turned his back on him and walked toward the door, hopeless and heartbroken.

— That can't mean a Downworlder — Alec turned and faced him incredulously. Magnus never failed to revivify his hopes.

— The Clave was so rigid and prejudiced back in what they called the "Time of Angels” that they didn't dream of a shadowhunter  _ asking  _ a Downworlder for  _ help  _ — Magnus said mockingly. — They didn't even bother to exclude us!

Alec stared at him incredulously, watching the other get up and get closer.

— So, since, as you all say… 'The law is the law' — he continued mockingly, almost making the shadowhunter laugh with his imitation. — There's no stopping me from slipping through this “gaping loophole”.  _ For the right price _ — he added, and Alec struggled to not be caught off guard by that last part.

Of course Magnus would ask for a payment. Any other defender would ask too, but Alec knew this wasn't the reason Magnus did. No, Alec had made a choice and couldn't pretend that he didn't know he had hurt the warlock, he would demand a payment to make it clear that he had no reason to do anything for the shadowhunter any more.

— Name it — Alec replied, ready not only to pay whatever it took to save his little sister, but also to accept the consequences of his decision, of his sacrifice for being a Lightwood.

—  _ You  _ — Magnus replied, surprising him again. — In fact,  _ I do you  _ pro bono!

  
  


➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶

  
  


That scene was repeating at Alec’s mind, now that he could lay his head on the pillow, with Isabelle out of danger, the Cup in the right hands and his bow and quiver still within the Institute. Even with everything he and Jace had said to each other, that wasn't what his thoughts were about, it was about Magnus.

He could no longer lie to himself! What he felt for Magnus wasn't fleeting, in fact, he was sure it wouldn't leave, no matter what he did, no matter how much he stifled it inside him.

Alec was not proud, even alone in the dark of his room, for having fought with all his might to suppress that feeling. But that wasn't the same feeling he had for Jace! What he had felt for Jace, or what he  _ thought  _ he felt, had been silent for years without anyone but Izzy noticing. It had been incubated and controlled. What he felt for Magnus had never been possible to control, with each passing day, he felt it bigger and stronger and set fire to him whenever the warlock was around.

_ “You’ll be lonely all your life, and so will she. Neither of you deserve it. And I don’t either!” _

He couldn't have what he wanted, no matter how intense his feelings was… Being happy with the person he wanted, the person he didn't predict that his heart would choose, was not allowed…

His life was all ruled by the life that shadowhunters should live! Your personal desires should never overlap your obligations and, even if could kill him slowly to only dream about what he was forbidden to have, what could he do?

Alec wasn't really surprised to be attracted to Magnus, the warlock was beautiful and charming, but it was so much more than that… He was generous and had a great sense of justice, more than many shadowhunters, going completely against everything the Clave always told him about Downworlders, about warlocks, and especially about  _ Magnus Bane _ ! He wasn’t a man who dictated the price of everything he wanted; he was brave and compassionate and the person Alec had always dreamed of meeting… Someone he could count on, who could face the dangers of the Shadow World by his side and who would always help him protect those he loved and those who couldn't protect themselves…

Sinking his face into the pillow, trying to contain the storm of thoughts in his head, the image of Magnus was a bright and vivid spot in his soul, even in the darkness of his loneliness.

He wanted so much to be different, he wanted to be able to surrender to his strongest feelings, as Jace and Izzy, without thinking twice! He wanted to cancel the wedding, run to Magnus, and surrender to that desire!

In the privacy of his mind, Alec allowed himself to admit how much he wanted Magnus, how much his body felt the need to touch him… From the first time they'd seen each other, he'd dreamed of kissing that mouth, feeling it against his own, feeling his breath quicken at his touch…

Even if everything was forbidden to him… Even though he could never have what he really wanted… He couldn't stop his own fantasies to came to life!

Alec had never felt any of it, especially for Jace! He was completely inexperienced, but that didn't mean he had no idea how Magnus and he would have sex if they could! And how he wanted to be able to…

He wanted to feel the warlock's skin on his, his caresses and his kisses, his shivering breath… He wanted to be able to surrender himself in every possible way, undress himself and learn all that Magnus had to teach him! His body burned with desire just to allow himself to fantasize with them together in bed…

But the world would have to be different so they could be together, he would have to face his family, the Clave and yet he would lose everything because Magnus was a man and a Downworlder. His dream of being Head of the Institute would never come true, his rights as a Lightwood wouldn’t exist anymore, and he would have to choose between being what he always worked for and getting a chance to be loved by who he wanted…

The Angels seemed to have chosen him to suffer, to never feel whole, because no matter what Alec chose, he would never be entirely happy with his life… Either he would lose everything or he would lose Magnus…

In the end, he knew he could never have what he wanted… Because the world was the way it was!

➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴➶➴

The sun lit his room, waking him up and Alec smiled, before he even opened his eyes; he smiled and waited, then his waist was wrapped around for strong arms that pulled him against the other body that occupied his bed.

— Good morning Mr. Lightwood-Bane — Magnus whispered in his ear, shivering his skin.

— Good morning Mr. Lightwood-Bane — he replied, turning in his husband's arms and pulling his face to kiss him passionately. — I love this, you know? Waking up by your side every day, being your husband, being the father of your children… I love this life I have, thanks to you!

— I love too! More than anything in the world, Alexander! — he pulled Alec's face once more into his, stroking the back of his neck and curling their tongues as he swung his leg over the other's to rest on his husband's body, making him laugh.

— The kids will catch us — he laughed, still kissing Magnus.

— We have time until the two wake up! And I want to enjoy every second  _ I have you just for me _ !

**Author's Note:**

> Please, let me know if you liked!


End file.
